Oscars Roundup: Snooooooooooze

28 Feb

If the Golden Globes were all about color and sex appeal, the Oscars were the demure older sister still wearing braces. That description is not only apt for the show’s host, Anne Hathaway who gave us all a nice preview of what Lea Michelle’s character on Glee will be like in a few years, but also the evening’s dresses.

No wonder James Franco was stoned, he was so bored by everyone’s outfit.

"This is not what I signed up for" - Franco

Winners

For the most part, I felt that the best dressed women played it safe. Muted colors and more streamlined silhouettes dominated the red carpet. I appreciate that Cate Blanchett and Mila Kunis wore couture looks, but with few accessories or powerful makeup the drama of the runway was diminished. Other hits include Gwyneth Paltrow, Michelle Williams and 15 year old fashion plate Hailee Steinfeld.

Cate Blanchett in Givenchy Couture, Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein, Hailee Steinfeld in Marchesa, Michelle Williams in Chanel and Mila Kunis in Elie Saab Couture

Losers

Although I wish there had been more color on the red carpet, those that did wear brighter hues missed the mark. Snark time!

Amy Adams – did you borrow my friend Emily’s outfit from gymnastics and add your grandmother’s necklace?

J Hud – no one wept more than me during your recent Oprah appearance but how could you let me down in a prom dress from 1999? That hair looked like a castoff from BAPS.

Marisa Tomei – I appreciate a vintage gown but the biological clock on that dress died a long time ago.

Amy Adams in L'Wren Scott, Jennifer Hudson in Versace, Marisa Tomei in vintage Charles James

Whew, that outburst of bitchiness felt great, moving on…

Post Mortem

The attendees were not entirely to blame for their poor ensembles. My hunch is that Rachel Zoe snapped up many of the best gowns for her client, Anne Hathaway, who wore 8 spectacular looks during the course of the broadcast. My favorites were the custom Lanvin tuxedo, Armani Prive and the red Atelier Versace.

Anne hamming it up in Lanvin, Armani Prive and Atelier Versace

Overall there were some highs (ahem Franco) and some lows (enough singing Gwyneth) but mostly this year’s Oscars red carpet was a middling slog. Can’t wait to do it all again next year!

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One Response to “Oscars Roundup: Snooooooooooze”

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  1. Oscars Roundup: All the Gossip Minus Any Mention of Who Won « SpiffyNiffy - March 1, 2012

    […] look forward to the Oscars all year, and this year I would have rather had a colonic, I’m not kidding. Mon dieu, this is what […]

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