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Oscars Roundup: All the Gossip Minus Any Mention of Who Won

29 Feb

I look forward to the Oscars all year, and this year I would have rather had a colonic, I’m not kidding.

Mon dieu, this is what it's like at the Oscars?

Suffice to say this was the worst Oscars in history, from the clothes, the host, the films nominated and most certainly that weird Cirque du Soleil performance, this show stunk. So let’s not even bother talking about it any more, it gives me heartburn. Let’s move onto the Vanity Fair party because that’s where all the action was.

So that's where they have been hiding the glamour!

You have to fling the bird past those blocks, then blow it up

So then I said, let's call my alter ego Dick

One of these is not like the others (funny)

One of these is not like the others (talented)

"I didn't think that bitch Meryl Streep deserved it either!"

"Man I told you Tower Heist was a bad idea but you wouldn't listen"

Still waiting to solve that man or Muppet conundrum...

"Who's ready for me to host next year?"

Oil Slick

24 Feb

When I was in my youthful teens I encountered more than my fair share of breakouts. I scrubbed like a madwoman, smeared cream all over my face and blasted myself with acids to try and get perfect skin. Now that I am in a more mature phase of life, my skin has luckily evened out and I have taken away some lessons from my earlier regimen. All those scrubs, peels and creams tend to dry out the skin and make matters even worse. I have now completely converted to using oils.

.

The discovery of oils has led me to lube up almost every part of my skin and hair regime and I have never been happier. These products help to lock in moisture to the face and body, which makes it less likely that your skin will have to overproduce oil and thus cause a blemish or two.  And I know what you are thinking, she must be a shiny mess, but I am not I promise. Below are a few highlights from my oily new lifestyle.

Face

Olio Lusso face oil

This Olio Lusso face oil changed my life. I got a sample at Barneys after reading every single person on Into the Gloss espouse it’s merits. This might be the greatest beauty PR blitz known to man but I like to think that its just that good. Its a mixture of 13 essential oils and smells amazing. A little goes a long way – my sample lasted me 2 months after which I just had to break down and buy it. Simply dab 2-3 drops on your hands, then massage into a clean dry face. Hydration central!

Body

Organic coconut oil

A yogi friend of mine is a devotee of the all natural beauty blog No more Dirty Looks and turned me onto using coconut oil.  She told me to use it on the ends of my hair, to remove makeup with it, and as a general all purpose body moisturizer. You can even fry up some Malaysian delicacies if you have time, it is truly all purpose! I tend to use it as a body moisturizer and makeup remover, just mix a little in your hands and the hard waxy substance instantly melts into a light and refreshing oil. The smell is not overpowering and it really does lock in moisture for a long time. I bought a jar at Whole Foods and have never looked back.

Fresh body scrub

Ahhh Fresh products. The smell of this Brown Sugar Body Scrub is intoxicating and it leaves a wonderfully moisturizing oily residue. I guess the phrase oily residue doesn’t sound appealing, but trust me this is a delight. I tend to use this in the winter when my skin is extra dry. One word of caution – this makes the shower extra slippery, so watch out!

Hair

Moroccan oil

At this point Moroccan Oil is somewhat of a cliched recommendation (or I guess as much as an overpriced hair oil can be considered cliche…whatever) but I really do love it. Again, a little goes a very long way and the smell is very earthy without being patchouli-esque. I have a little bottle of this stuff and probably restock every 6 months. I like using this all over my hair when it is air drying, and on the ends every few days between washes to keep my ‘do looking smooth. It is a great investment and the perfect end to an oil filled beauty routine.

Golden Globes Roundup: When Jane Fonda Is Best Dressed, It’s All Downhill From There

19 Jan

So the Golden Globes happened and everyone looked like crap. I am not going to mince words (when do I ever?), but from a fashion standpoint this years awards season is off to a worse start than George Clooney’s claim that he is heterosexual. Seriously though if Stacy Keibler (is that her name?) is your best chance of a beard in a pinch then this country really is going down the tubes.

Let’s start with the good…

Janeeeeeeeeeeeee Foundaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (Oprah voice)

Jane Fonda in Jack Gussio

Jane Fonda is 74 and knocked it out of the park. I can’t even find a photo of her from the actual red carpet because this old broad couldn’t be bothered to stand next to the dumpy modern day starlets and have her picture taken. But when she took the stage to present I knew she was the night’s winner. She looked hot, age appropriate and a little daring. A triumvirate that no other woman in Hollywood even came close to that night.

Runners Up

Nicole Richie in Julien MacDonald, Salma Hayek in Gucci, Nicole Kidman in Versace and Viola Davis in Pucci.

The fact that Nicole Richie made my list should be an indication of the slim pickins available at the Golden Globes. That being said my favorites all skewed slightly robotic and I am not just talking about Nicole Kidman’s face. I am a sucker for sequins, bodycon and a stud here and there, especially at the Golden Globes which are supposed to be the “fun” Oscars. Viola Davis did not fit in with this trend but I just thought she looked smashing…great color, INSANE body and her hair and accessories really made the look complete.

Great Night for Plus-Sized Gals

Very few women are the size of a toothpick and that can make dressing for an awards show extremely difficult, especially since most designers are clamoring for the most skeletal woman on the red carpet. That being said I thought that the more voluptuous women were some of the best dressed.

Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji, Melissa McCarthy in Badgley Mischka and Amber Riley in Badgley Mischka

And now for the bad…

2012 Mila Kunis: 2002 Gwyneth Paltrow Wants Her Dress Back

Last year Mila Kunis was on every best dressed list and this year she is wearing an ABS version of Gwyneth‘s biggest mistake. Fashion cycle, you are a cruel mistress.

Auditioning for Little House on the Prairie Remake

Amanda Peet in Marc Jacobs and Jessica Biel in Elie Saab

Sigh…Amanda Peet you are really cute and I wish you were my celebrity doppelganger…so why are you wearing this tutu gone rogue?

Jessica Biel…someone needs to have an intervention with you, seriously. You supposedly just got engaged to Justin Timberlake and this is what you are wearing?!?! This shmata?!?! Whoever told you that you looked good before you walked out the door should 100% be fired because your outfit was a nightmare.

I really hope people bring it for the Oscars this year or else I might have to stop caring about this pointless pageantry altogether. In case you are wondering where I developed my fashion rage, below are a few choice comments from my mom during our 3+ hour long gchat during the Globes.

Ann Spector’s Greatest Hits

Mommy: Madonna aka Miss Kabbala was wearing a cross the size of the Chrysler Bldg

Niffy: Are you still crushing on viggo mortensen?
Mommy: Yes, good memory

Mommy: Why is he groping her?  Why didn’t he shave wth a new razor?

Mommy: Is his wife also a midget?

Mommy: Helen Scorcese could have gotten her hair done…

Resolutions for the Year of the Dragon

4 Jan

According to a random website I googled about Chinese Zodiac signs, 2011 was the year of the rabbit.

2011 was cute, furry and a little gamey. This year it is all about the dragon; a fire-breathing, ass kicking, but hopefully not scaley, dragon.

Last year my resolutions were ok – blog, travel, feel proud of myself, blah blah blah. While I achieved many of these goals, I unfortunately failed to even attempt my most basic resolution which was to learn how to poach an egg. Its ok though, poached eggs were so the year of the rabbit, for the year of the dragon my resolutions are:

  • Workout twice a week (ha, yea right…except I already went to Pilates and just signed up for a non-refundable boot camp so breathe my fire!!!)
  • Do not buy any clothing for the first 3 months of the year
  • Eat more oysters, sushi, and vegetarian dishes
  • Travel, travel, travel. Fingers crossed for a big trip to Greece and Turkey, or to Spain.
  • Update this blog once a week at least. Last year I had a few gaps but definitely an improvement from 2010 (the year of the tiger)

So if you see me in 2012, hopefully I will be wearing the same clothes as last year, looking fit, and slurping down an oyster on the Aegean sea.

Happy New Year!

Niffy’s Nifty Gifty

21 Dec

Since most people do their holiday shopping last minute, why not do a last minute gift guide? Presenting Niffy’s Nifty Gifty…

For Your Sister Who Is Very Beautiful, Smart and Funny

For the smart, funny and beautiful sister I recommend getting her something that you want so that you can borrow and or steal it at a future date. If you are like me and inventoried your sister’s entire wardrobe, then you know the pieces she is missing and the holidays are the perfect time to fill those holes. This year I filled the “everyday day to night black bag” hole.

On sale at Barneys, click to buy

Alternative to the black bag is a Clarisonic (which I got her last year) and she got me this year. See – buy things you want for others and they may come back to you!

Clarisonic Mia in Jaguar, click to purchase

For the Parents Who Have Everything

Shopping for my parents is hard – they always say they don’t want or need anything. Even the most obscure gift, like the oyster shucking knife I was going to buy my dad, is shot down because he already has two. This predicament makes gift giving especially challenging so this year I decided to give them the gift of memories in the form of a holiday calendar filled with old family photos.

Wall calendar from Pinhole Press, click to purchase

Alternative to the old photos calendar is matching pajamas for everyone in my family which I have done in years past. It seems dopey but its actually really fun to sit around all wearing the same outfit, its like a cult!

Pajamas from J.Crew for the whole family, click to purchase

For The Boyfriend Who JUST Signed Up For Gilt Groupe

There comes a point in every girlfriend’s life when she asks herself, “am I willing to date someone who wears mesh shorts in public or am I going to have to buy him some pants?” For me that question came four years ago and now I am dating a consistently fashionable guy. Since I have created this monster, feeding the beast is important in order to consistently reach new sartorially heights. A sporty yet stylish jacket is the perfect gift that harkens back to those mesh short days without actually reverting to them.

Arc'teryx Jacket, click to purchase

Alternative to the spiffy jacket is a re-imagined movie poster of one of his favorite films in an updated style.

Topgun movie poster from Moxie Creative, click to purchase

For The Best Friend That Continues To Abuse The Blue Mercury Samples Policy

Best friends are easy to shop for because you just get them what you want since you are so much alike and bff forevaaaaaaaaa! But seriously there are so many eligible best friend gifts its hard to pin them all down. Below are a smattering of choices for the special gal in your life.

Lip scrub and balm from Blue Mercury, click to purchase

Pom pom beanie that coordinates with her hair color from Calypso, click to purchase

Cuisinart immersion blender for winter soups, click to purchase

For Everyone Else on Your List

Don’t know what to get your landlord/mailman/professor? This apple. Trust me. It is delicious, impressive, inexpensive and all around incredible.  One year (ok every year) I have ordered myself one and its my favorite holiday tradition.

Giant caramel apple from Williams Sonoma, click to purchase

Hope everyone has a very happy holiday season and enjoy all your gifts both material and immaterial!

Wintour Sparkle

30 Nov

It is amazing to me that someone as entrenched in the fashion industry as Anna Wintour would stick to the same style season after season – and yet she does. Perfectly coiffed hair, knee length skirt or dress and a bit of sparkle around the neck.

Layered bling

Death stare bling

Federer Bling

This sort of  jewelry stick-to-itiveness seems like a rut, but who am I to challenge Anna on her style? (Please don’t euthanize me Ms. Wintour!) As someone who doesn’t have a strong jewelry gene it does seem like a good idea to just reach for the same few baubles every day and remove the guess work from accessorizing. Oh first world problems…

A quick search leads me to believe these necklaces are either Cartier or H. Stern, code for woefully out of my price range. However, I did find a few interpretations that I think would look fit the bill and make Anna proud.

A jcrew version that comes in multiple colors, click to purchase

Support crafty entrepreneurs with these etsy necklaces, click to purchase

Go for broke with Tom Binns, click to purchase

These necklaces would make an excellent holiday gift but PLEASE no one rush out to get one for me. The Tom Binns necklace is already en route…

Line ’em up

24 Oct

Fall screams several things to me – among them are hot toddy time and boot weather.

Click the boots for more info

As a tall and big-footed woman (do I sound sexy?) footwear has always stymied me. In heels I am a giant and even in the cutest flats I can look like Sasquatch. However boots have somehow transcended these issues and are my favorite shoe to shod myself in. Luckily after years of cultivation my boot wardrobe is full – I have knee highs, to the knee, shorties and booties – but I rounded up a few potential booties for my sister and I thought others might enjoy as well.

One person I know who will hate these shoes is my friend Lea, who is always chiding me for loving a chunky heel. Lea I can’t help it, they are more comfortable! Hopefully you can look past the chunk and see these shoes for what they are – overpriced, mildly comfortable, and perfect for fall. See below on where to purchase.

Rachel comey boots
$403 – lagarconne.com

J crew shoes
$198 – jcrew.com

Belstaff leather shoes
$550 – net-a-porter.com

Rag & Bone mid heels
$495 – net-a-porter.com

Belle Sigerson Morrison bronze boots
$350 – net-a-porter.com

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